Me, Myself, Improvement

Over the past couple of days I have realized a couple of things about myself that I don’t like. Here are two of them. Enjoy.

My Ego

I realized that my ego may have gotten out of hand. I don’t think that I am better than anyone, or something crazy like that. I do think that I am almost too confident about some of my ideals, or beliefs and it might have made people feel bad, or think that I am an asshole. 

Example:

The 40 Ladder

    For those of you that haven’t heard, or don’t know me that well. I have developed a list of 40 rules, and standards that I apply to girls that I maybe interested in. The reason why I created the ladder is because I tend to let my compromises hurt me in the long run, and let girls walk all over me. I am very picky, and don’t think anyone should have to settle for less than they want. I realize that I will have to compromise, and if I don’t I will be alone forever. I have accepted both realities.

 I thought about this for awhile and realized that I probably come off to girls as an egotistical asshole. I am aware of most of my short comings, and I realize that I am not the perfect catch. Annoucing the process that I go through is probably hurting more that I know. Here are two reasons.

1) People think I am full of myself, and that is a turn off.

2) Even if a girl was interested, she may think that she doesn’t have a chance because of my “high standards” or just thinks I am a nutbar.

I am not your average guy, and I like being “different”

I applogize. 

Another thing I don’t like about myself is…. 

My Conversational Skills

    I tend to struggle with small talk, and rarely ask questions when I should. I usually just accept peoples statements, and give a people a short response. I think that when it comes to casual conversation I tend to draw a blank, because I’m not up on the subject. What I really should be doing is asking questions, and get involved. In my career field I ask, and get asked a lot of questions, so I need to apply that type of anaylsis to other people I interact with on a daily basis. Also, while doing so try not to dig too deep.

 Example:

Stories 

Whenever someone tells me about a situation they were in. I immediately think of how I can relate to that. If I have a similar story, or a better story (in my mind) ill try to bring the attention to me, by telling the story. I think I rain on a lot of parades, and I should keep focused on the originator of the story.

These both relate to my ego. I’m am somewhat self centered, and I have  been told I am extremely stubborn. I have put myself in my own world, and I tend to walk alone. I need to start walking with other people.

Ill post more later. I think I should take my self improvement a couple steps at a time.